Stuck In An Elevator With a Wackjob
by Don't Hug Me I Hate You
Summary: When Max ends up stuck with Fang in an elevator, what else can happen but a deep heart to heart? What if in ANGEL, they had actually talked it out? Or you know, they could have punched it out too. That works. FAX. Please note that parts were written by JP, and no, I don't own Maximum Ride. UPDATE: Currently in the works of being rewritten.


Many things in America are really big. Big Macs, for example. And stretch pants, and cars. Not so much in Europe. In general, things there seem to be scaled down, more people size. And it's charming. It's approachable.

Except when your hotel's only elevator is maybe two feet by two feet and is apparently powered by aging chipmunks running frantically, and you're stuck in it with someone who stomped on your heart. Because you chose not to walk up the stairs like a sensible person.

I stood as far away from Fang as possible, which was about four inches, and looked down at my feet. I feigned interest in my sneakers and the fact that one of them was held on my foot with bent paper clips because the shoelace had broken.

And then something in me suddenly snapped. I mean, seriously? This was ME. Maximum Ride (What, did you think I was Michael Jackson?). And I was standing around like an awkward gangly teen at his first dance.

"How could you stop loving me?" As soon as my words came out, they hung in the air between us, and I wanted to disappear. That sound of hurt in my voice, even asking him that question-it was like painting a big target on my chest.

Fang smacked his hand against the elevator wall, no doubt startling the chipmunks.

"Max, you have to understand. I didn't. Do you think that? I could never stop loving you." His eyes softened. "The thing is...whenever you were with me you were constantly in danger. I was the one that they were targeting. Not you, or Angel or anyone else in the Flock. Even Dylan. As much as I wish that they were all trying to kill that clone." He sighed. "I couldn't live with myself knowing that I was putting you guys in danger. I had to leave, Max."

"Well aren't you chatty?" It was weird. The whole leader thing turned him…more sensitive, I guess.

"Max, I had to."

"Why were you with Max II?" I asked.

"I needed another fighter. And seeing as how you're an amazing one, I figured that she'd be just as good." Flattery. Pssshhh…Okay, I'll take it.

"Well..." I said, like I was thinking, although my mind was already made up.

"Max-" He was cut off as I smashed my lips against his.

I breathed in his familiar smell, as our lips moved together. We broke apart, gasping for air, our foreheads pressed together, and our arms wrapped around each other. Then I stepped back (as much as I could) and punched him in the jaw. And let me tell you, I pack a helluva punch.

"Ow. What was that for?" He complained. "Okay, maybe I did deserve that, but-"

"Shut up, please." I smiled as I tucked my head into his chest. Haha, telling Fang to shut up? Never thought it'd happen.

He suddenly turned serious.

"I'm sorry. I...I didn't know how hard it'd be to be without you...and to be a leader. I mean, do you know how hard it is to get them to listen to you?" He complained.

I smirked. "Yeah. I know." Then I turned serious again, just like him. "I'd ask you to promise to never leave again, but I know that'll never happen. I mean, we all know how well you keep you promises."

He rolled his eyes.

"Max, but what're we going to do now? We both have flocks, and I'm not sure as to how they'd get along if we sqish-squashed them together."

"True, true. But...I don't want you to leave again. Dylan's so annoying, even though he is kinda sweet sometimes..."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, he was there when you weren't!"

"Okay, I'll give Superboy that. But I'll always be here for you."

"Shut up. You sound like Edward. Except you don't sparkle. Yet. Anyway, how're we going to lead our flocks and still have a relationship?" He rolled his eyes at me.

"I don't know. But we'll figure something out. And I resent that. I do not, and never will sparkle."

"Whatever you think, Fangles deary."

He put his arms around me as the elevator finally dinged. Poor chipmunks. And that was a long elevator ride, am I right? That's strange...I mean, it's like somebody's writing my life story, and they've decided that the elevator ride had to be particularly long so we could have this talk.

Weird.

We walked out into the lobby, just to see our Flock's getting along, and laughing together.

Well. That worked well. Considering 10 minutes earlier they were trying to chop each other's heads off.

...And Dylan and Maya were getting along pretty well...

I wonder...I mean, Maya is technically supposed to be able to replace me, and so technically, she is Max. So if she was me, and Dylan was programmed to be with me, wouldn't that make her...perfect for him? And plus, she could cook. I think Dylan's sick of my cooking. Literally, as in he tried to convince me to cook, and then he got sick when I actually did. I laughed.

Bwahahaha.

Kate and Nudge were talking about what conditioner they used, and clothes and hair and blahbeddy, blah, blah, blah.

Ugh.

Ratchet and Iggy were talking to each other about how their hearing was better, and they were also discussing pick-up lines.

Can we say sexist pigs together?

SEXIST PIGS.

Holden and Angel were chatting about the fish they'd seen when they were swimming underwater and how deep they could go.

Star and Gazzy were having a contest to see who could eat the most pie.

…See, these are the kinds of stunts that make America obese.

They all paused and looked at us as we walked in.

Everyone gaped at us as we walked in, his arm around me, and my hand around him. Well, except Dylan and Maya. They were too busy sucking face. Well, that was fast. When they finally broke apart, they stared at us, and smiled. I guess that Dylan's no longer obsessed with me, and Max- no, Maya, was no longer in love with Fang. If she ever was…

Let's just say I have a chainsaw.

Nudge, and Angel all shrieked in unison. "FINALLY!" Then the boys shrugged then went back to what they were doing. The girls ran over and started yelling.

"Finally! ZOMG, you guys are finally back together! Finally, finally, finally! Like, seriously, Fang, Max was acting like a pathetic baby when you left!"

I glared at Nudge and oh so subtly kicked her.

"Erm… I meant, she went to go kick Dylan's butt cause he kept annoying her!"

"Yeah, I mean, seriously, I haven't even talked with Fang, and he already looks happier then before." Star said to me. Fang glared. She smiled at him innocently. Then ran (with her super speed) back to Gazzy so they could get their pie-eating contest back on.

Angel came over and hugged both of us, yelling "I knew it! I knew that if I rigged that elevator to stop, you guys would talk it out!" Fang and I stared at her. "Urm…never mind. Anyways, at least you guys are back together!"

Kate just smirked at us. "Hmmm…you're right, Ange. They were in there for a really long time, weren't they? I wonder what they were doing in there…" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Kate, will you marry me?" Iggy yelled over.

Fang and I glanced at each other and rolled our eyes. Same old Iggy.

"Well. I guess our Flock's will get along." I said, looking into Fang's eyes. Not like I was melting inside or anything. Nope…not at all…Oh wait, look there goes my nose, melting into the cracks in the floor…

"I wonder if they'll all fit into our house. Do you think they'll be able to?"

"Maybe. If Angel and Nudge share a room, Gazzy and Iggy, Holden and Ratchet, Maya and Dylan, Star and Kate, and you and me?" Everybody else was listening by now, and they all seemed to be okay with it.

"I'm okay with that. But you guys better keep it PG in there!" Iggy shouted.

We rolled our eyes. Again.

"Hey, how come Dylan and Fang can't share, and Maya and Max?" Ratchet asked.

We all glanced at each other.

"No." We all said at once.

I winced.

"Um…there's some bad history between us four…Maya tried to kill me, I tried to kill her, Fang and Dylan both trying to get me, and yeah…" I finished awkwardly.

"Don't flatter yourself. Two boys trying to get you? You make it sound like you're some precious jewel or something. Anyways, I already had you. I didn't have to try." Fang smirked.

"Don't flatter yourself, and I am a precious jewel." I mimicked.

"Whatever." He said.

"Whatever? Do you hear yourself? You sound like a diva. Whatever, whatever, whatev-" He shoved me to shut up. And I shoved him right back.

"Hey, if you two lovebirds are done flirting, we have a world to save." Ratchet called over.

Right. Save the world. Make-out later.

"Okay, now everyone…" I said, clapping my hands together, as I guided them to the stairs (not gonna torture the poor chipmunks with all these people. You know, why aren't they _dead _yet? And why do I keep comparing the elevator to a bunch of squirrels? Not sure we could all fit, either.)

And with that, we saved Paris, and went back to the house in the mountains.

This is how it should've happened.

Perfectly.


End file.
